The WrestleMania Project: Part 3

In which our hero attempts to watch every WrestlemaMania in chronological order, in an effort to gain a greater understanding of the history of wrestling. Here are his results.

WrestleMania 3

March 29, 1987

Pontiac Silverdome - Pontiac, Michigan

93,173 in Attendance (A record)

 "America The Beautiful" as sung by Aretha Franklin. Really.

On commentary: Gorilla Monsoon, Bob Ueker, Mary Hart, and Jesse "The Body" Ventura

The Can-Am Connection (Rick Martel and Tom Zenk) defeated Bob Orton and The Magnificent Muraco (with Mr. Fuji): Nothing of note, here.

So that's where his son gets it from.

Billy Jack Haynes and Hercules (with Bobby Heenan) fought to a double count-out: Again, didn't do much for me. Nobody likes a double count-out

Hillbilly Jim, The Haiti Kid and Little Beaver defeated King Kong Bundy, Little Tokyo and Lord Littlebrook by disqualification: 

A simpler time.

Harley Race (with Bobby Heenan and The Fabulous Moolah) defeated The Junkyard Dog: Not much of a match. Kind of disappointing, considering the characters involved. Harley won with shenanigans.

 The original King.

 People love the JYD

 DATS RACIST!!!

 There ya go.

"Put it on, Dog" - Gorilla Monsoon.

The Dream Team (Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake) (with Johnny Valiant and Dino Bravo) defeated The Rougeau Brothers (Jacques and Raymond)

Roddy Piper defeated Adrian Adonis (with Jimmy Hart): This was Roddy's farewell match. An excited fan jumped into the ring and (eventually) got taken out by security.

 Kiss the Chimel for luck.

 "Hey. You're not supposed to be here."

Worth it.

The Hart Foundation (Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart) and Danny Davis (with Jimmy Hart) defeated The British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith and The Dynamite Kid) and Tito Santana: It must be something about the big stadium that made these potentially great matches kind of unspectacular.

Too sweet.

Butch Reed (with Slick) defeated Koko B. Ware

Ricky Steamboat (with George Steele) defeated Randy Savage (c) (with Miss Elizabeth): Often considered one of the greatest matches of all time. I agree; it was very good.

 Like a leaf on the wind...

 Dat leverage.

Sure, he took the title...

But Randy neve goes home empty-handed.

The Honky Tonk Man (with Jimmy Hart) defeated Jake Roberts (with Alice Cooper)

These guys looked old as hell back then.

The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff (with Slick) defeated The Killer Bees (B. Brian Blair and Jim Brunzell) by disqualification

 Haters gonna hate.

Geez.

Hulk Hogan (c) defeated André the Giant (with Bobby Heenan): This was a win or go home match for the Hulkster. This was André's first loss.

That's why you eat your vitamins.

Grade

A lot of subpar matches hurt this WrestleMania, which is too bad considering the stars involved. If it had half as many (there were 12) it may have been great.

2 out of 5 stars

2012

Having a blog gives me the license to make one of the best of lists. But, always the pessimist, I'll start with what sucked

The Worst

Dwight Howard
Remember that time Van Gundy was being interviewed about the problems with Dwight, and he was being pretty candid about the rocky relationship, and then Dwight popped up, put his arm around his coach without any knowledge of what was being talked about? That was hard to watch.

The Hobbit
Okay, I haven't seen the movie, so this isn't a critique on it's quality, the point is... I haven't seen the movie. The guy who attended the midnight showings of the last two Lord of the Rings films. The guy who was inspired by Aragorn to grow his hair out. The think is, when news broke that The Hobbit was going to be a trilogy, it was like a balloon was deflated. It feels like a cash-grab, and one that I can avoid, for the time being. I'm sure I'll eventually see it, and that it may be pretty good, but it won't be the whole story; just a tease.

The Public
Blaming mass murders on video games. Backing religious extremists politicians. Letting Chris Brown be relevant. The sad state of social media. George Carlin once said, “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”

The Meh

Superhero Movies
The Avengers, Spider-man, Dark Knight Whatever... While all commercial successes, failed to excite. They all, kind of, just lived up to expectations. If this was the 90s, that would be more than enough, but I want something more. If you're not going to inspire or do something different, what's the point?

Streaming Services
Netflix stayed more expensive. Hulu has commercials even if you're a paid user. Content owners still make their content difficult to get to. Who cares, anymore?

The Walking Dead
Season 3 started out pretty great; it moved at a faster clip and had some seriously freaky moments, but has since become bogged down in it's own lore. Some characters act without motivation and often, the show just feels trite. If it didn't do so many cool, nasty things you wouldn't normally see on TV, it wouldn't be worth watching.

Video Games
Nintendo came out with a new console, which has failed to garner excitement. The 3DS and Vita are just kind of there. All the big games were part 3s or 4s, so if you weren't already invested, there wasn't a lot to be excited about. The saving grace, for me, were downloadable games, like Rock Band Blitz and The Walking Dead. The new systems can't come soon enough.

The iPad Mini
A retina screen away from being on the next part of this list.

The Best

Perfume - Fake It

This song may have been a B-Side in 2010, but it became a single this year... so... it's my list, anyway.

CM Punk
This year he became the longest reigning champ of the past 25 years, even surpassing the golden boy, John Cena. He had great matches with Ziggler, Jericho, Cena, Henry, Kane, Bryan, Ryback, Big Show, and even Vince. He was hilarious and threatening. The Rock's stint at WrestleMania may have been what lured me back to wrestling, but Punk is what kept me here.

Boardwalk Empire
Somehow, this show got even better. It was always good, although a little light on plot. The first two seasons were about character development. Season 3 was about turning points and consequences. The show was made by Bobby Cannavale's portrayal of Gyp Rosetti.

Gangnam Style
I don't need to link to it, I just had to bring it up so I could say, "I told you so!"

Smart Toilets
My biggest revelation of 2012. In the future, our grandkids are going to say, "You did what with paper?"

Smackdown Holiday Tour Chicago Report

The Allstate Arena seemed to be at about 2/3 capacity, but the crowd was hot. Lots of kids in Ryback shirts hopped up on candy canes. Matt Stryker hosted the event and the show kicked off promptly at 7:30. Stryker hinted at a great card with some big surprises.

Battle Royal for an Intercontinental Title shot This match included everyone else who wrestled later in the night, sans for the main eventers. Fandango made his debut in this match, to a puzzled audience. A couple of decent spots, nothing too exciting. Ricardo helped Alberto get the win, to the delight of the crowd.

Layla & Alicia Fox defeated Tamina and Aksana This match was surprisingly very entertaining. it went on for at least 10 minutes, which gave the ladies ample time to show off their moves. Alicia showed off some impressive moves while Tamina looked strong and dangerous. Aksana is an expert at getting the crowd to boo her one moment, then whistle at her the next. Layla got the biggest pop.

Alex riley defeated Michael McGillicutty I tried to care about these guys, especially because I think Michael has some skill. Perhaps they're a haircut away from being relevant. Typical, somewhat generic, good guy/bad guy match.

Fandango defeated Ted DiBiase Fandango's proper debut. His arrogance annoyed the crowd while his dance moves drew some howls from the ladies (I'm assuming). Uneventful match. Notable only that Fandango was the only heel to win on the card. He celebrated by dancing with a lady in a cocktail dress on the ramp. I can already see it in my head; Brodus vs Fandango, WrestleMania.

Tyson Kidd & Justin Gabriel defeated Jinder Mahal & Heath Slater of 3MB This match was a bit of a let-down. It was a bit to long for most people's tastes. These guys can put on good matches, but they are a bit more entertaining when they are more compressed. 3MB got a great reaction.

The Great Khali & Hornswoggle (with Natalya) defeated Epico & Primo (with Rosa Mendes) Once in a lifetime. But, seriously, Epico and Primo are some of my favorite workers. They adapt to whatever match they're in, even though it usually involves them losing. They can be technical, viscous, or as they were in this match, comedic. They really played well off of Khali and Hornswoggle, and helped make the match enjoyable. Rosa and Natalya got into it as well. As a result of losing, Epico and Primo were forced to sing, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." They really had fun with it, especially Rosa who shrieked out a horrible rendition. Then they switched it to Feliz Navidad. Villains.

Kofi Kingston defeated Wade Barret and Alberto Del Rio in a triple-threat match for the Intercontinental Title This match was decent. Alberto is so crisp, everything he does looks dangerous and painful. Kofi got a great response from the crowd. After the match they started assembling the cage for the main event, when Barret ran back out to complain about losing. He really got under the crowds skin and drew great heat. He challenged Kofi to come back out and put the title back on the line. Kofi complied, and took care of Wade once again, in a matter of minutes. Afterwards, Wade continued to cry, and challenged anyone in the back. Ted DiBiase obliged him. He got the crowd to chant, "USA" and avenged his loss from earlier in the night. This seemed like a stall tactic, which would pay off in the end.

Big Show defeated Sheamus in a steel cage for the HeavyWeight Championship This match was fantastic. Both Show and Sheamus were well-received. These guys put on a PayPerView caliber match. Tons of impressive spots, including show splashing from the top rope and Sheamus carrying him on his shoulders. Both competitors kicked out of the other's finishers, with Show utilizing a second KO punch to secure his escape from the ring. He came back to the ring with a chair but Sheamus blocked it, and used it on Show, to the delight of the crowd.

At that point people started to head for the door. Then Stryker told the crowd they were blowing off the curfew to bring us a bonus, six-man tag match. One that we would be talking about as it was a first-time for Chicago. People were starting to get excited. I had seen Daniel Bryan tweet about trying appear at both, Detroit and Chicago house shows in the same night, weather permitting. Dare I get my hopes up? When Stryker confirmed that Ryback had just arrived the crowd went bonkers. Then I knew what we were getting.

Team Hell No & Ryback defeated The Shield Ryback owned the crowd. Daniel Bryan is super over. Kane still brings the excitement. The Shield terrified some with their crowd entrance. The match was fast, hectic, and hard hitting. It was super satisfying. Afterwards, Kane and Daniel got into their normal bickering which led to a hug it out moment. Then Daniel got to into the "Feed Me More" chant, which weirded out Ryback. Daniel offered to hug it out. They settled on a handshake.

In the past year, I've been to the Extreme Rules PPV, Raw 1000, and now this house show. This was the most exciting of all the events. The atmosphere was more casual, and not hung-up on story lines. There were no commercial breaks so the action moved at a good pace. More than half the card were lower tier stars but they put on quality matches. I even liked the way the ring was lit.

A major part of my enjoyment was due to the fact that I decided to cheer all the faces and boo the heels. It's much more fun to chant along than to be snarky.

Can't wait for the next show.

 

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Here's Hoping

Heading to the Smackdown house show at the Allstate Arena. While the Raw show in Detroit has Cena vs Ziggler, Hell No and Ryback vs The Shield in a cage, and The Rhodes Scholars against The New Age Outlaws, Chicago doesn't appear as lucky. We're getting Show vs Sheamus in a cage, which should be good, but the rest of the roster is looking a bit weak.

I'm hoping for a surprise hometown appearance.

 

 

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Kane & Tim Meadows

The similarities are eerie.

 


Both were part of legendary and fondly remembered 90s casts.

And both stuck around for a long time.

Both have genius, eccentric bosses.

Both starred in poorly received movies.

And both are brothers.

TLC Predictions

Kaitlyn wins Divas Battle Royal

Team Rhodes Scholars over Rey and Sin Cara

Cesario successfully defends over R-Truth

Kofi successfully defends over Wade

Sheamus regains Heavyweight title...

until...

Ziggler cashes in. Becomes new champ. Before he can celebrate, Vince orders for the belt to be hung above the ladder...

Ziggler defeats Cena for the Heavyweight title.

Team Hell No and Ryback defeat The Shield, although this is the one I feel least sure of.

Survivor Series Predictions

• 3MB over Justin/Tyson.... BABAAAAYYYY
• Big Show over Sheamus
• Ceasaro over R-Truth (that's what's up)
• Kaitlyn over Eve
• Last Team Ziggler member is...
• Practical: Tensai
• Hopeful: Mark Henry
• Out on a limb: Big Show. He's the last one pinned to by team Foley. Ziggler cashes in!
• CM Punk retains over Cena/Ryback. Ryback turns?! Leads to Cena vs Ryback.

Brawlin' Buddy

A funny story about this autograph.

1999

By the time my friend and I showed up to the mall the line was wrapped around the parking lot. We waited for nearly an hour before it became very apparent that not everyone was going to get a chance to meet The Rock. My friend and I decided to try to cut someone near the front, pretending to be their friends, and slip them a 20. It totally worked. Up until that moment, that was the smoothest thing I've ever done. Now it probably ranks 3rd or 4th. We were ushered in to the next room with The Rock, but they stopped the line right behind us, and right in front of the guy who we cut. We were super worried they wouldn't be let in and that we'd be jumped in the parking lot. We begged security to let them in, and they obliged. They were the last group of the day.