Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The Missing Monologue for Tuesday 3/7/2011

A new study finds that elephants are able to work cooperatively to reach a shared goal. After hearing this producers of Dancing With The Stars announced a new partner for Kristie Alley.

Miami Heat basketball Erik Spoelstra backtracked on his earlier quote that his players were crying after a loss, and accused the media of sensationalizing the story. He then told reporters that if they didn't believe him he would, "take his ball and go home."

R&B singer Usher has agreed to give back hundreds of thousands of dollars he earned while performing a private show for Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi. Gadhafi responded by saying he doesn't want the money back, but would like a picture with Justin Bieber.

Some devoted Apple fans have already begun lining up to purchase the new iPad 2 which doesn't come out until Friday. When asked what features Apple fans were most excited about they responded, "the faster processor, thinner design and hopefully the ability to get a life."

All jokes are the intellectual property of Juan Torres 2011

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