Warranties

Nothing causes me greater anxiety than when a salesman offers me a warranty.
Part of me is saying, "Screw that shit. I never break any of my lovely gadgets. And if I did break one, it would only serve as an excuse to get the newest shit!"
But then they're like, "For 10 dollars you can break the screen, drop it in the toilet, have it stolen, or just plain lose it and we'll hook you up."
Then I'm like, "That sounds all right."
But I've grown to be so cynical that I can't help but think they're trying to pull a fast one on me so I reply, "Fuck you, man!" and I grab my bag and run out that muvva.