The WrestleMania Project: Part 2

In which our hero attempts to watch every WrestlemaMania in chronological order, in an effort to gain a greater understanding of the history of wrestling. Here are his results.


WrestleMania 2
April 7, 1986
Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum - Uniondale, New York
Rosemont Horzion - Rosemont, Illinois
Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena - Los Angeles, California40,085 in Attendance (Combined)

Prologue

The gimmick behind this WrestleMania is that it took place in 3 different arenas, one hour each. The crowd got to see one hour live and the other two on the screens. Unlike WrestleMania 1, this one was on Pay-Per-View

New York

This section had the announcing team of Vince McMahon (whose announcing I can't stand) and Susan Saint James (some actress?).

How elegant?

"Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff vs The Magnificent Don Muraco (with Mr. Fuji) results in a double count out: This match was boring and short, with an unsatisfying ending. The crowd felt the same and chanted "Bulls hit" at the end. 

Macho Man Randy Savage (with Ms. Elizabeth) defends the InterContinental Title against George "The Animal" Steel: Think CM Punk vs Tensai. Weird match. George kept biting Macho Man, and even tried to eat the turnbuckle. Macho Man hit the flying elbow, but George kicked out. Macho rolled him up and used the ropes as leverage, securing the win.

Dat hair 

Dat elbow

Jake "The Snake" Roberts defeats George Wells via pinfall: Another snoozer. Jake wins with the DDT. Then adds insult to injury by choking him with a live python. Where was PETA then?

Dat's nasty

Mr. T defeats Rowdy Roddy Piper in a boxing match via disqualification: This was actually a decent looking boxing match, with both fighters looking tired and hurt by the 4th round. Piper must have forgot that you can't body slam in boxing.

Chicago

We switch gears to what is now known as the Allstate Arena for the second hour of WrestleMania. This one is called by the fantastic Gorilla Monsoon, with help from "Mean" Gene Okerland and another actress I don't know by the name of Cathy Lee Crosby. This crowd seemed more excited.

The Fabulous Moolah defended the Women's Championship against Velvet McIntyre via pinfall: This match lasted all of a minute and 25 seconds, kind of like today's Divas matches.

Dat cover

Corporal Kirchner defeated Nikolai Volkoff (with Freddie Blassie) in a flag match: I don't know.

André the Giant defeated 19 other participants by last eliminating Bret Hart in a Battle Royal: The Fridge got the loudest pop. The match was kind of a mess, as to be expected with sports stars in the ring. Still, entertaining. It's amazing that you can fill a ring with huge wrestlers and football players and André still towers over all.

The other participants were Jimbo Covert (NFL player - Chicago Bears), Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Harvey Martin (Former NFL player - Dallas Cowboys), Danny Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, The Iron Sheik, Ernie Holmes (Former NFL player - Pittsburgh Steelers), B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bill Fralic (NFL player - Atlanta Falcons), Jim Neidhart, Russ Francis (NFL player - San Francisco 49ers), Bruno Sammartino, and William "Refrigerator" Perry (NFL player - Chicago Bears).

André with the Hitman

The British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith and The Dynamite Kid) (with Ozzy Osbourne and Lou Albano) defeated The Dream Team (Greg "The Hammer" Valentine and Brutus Beefcake) (with Johnny Valiant) for the Tag Team Championship: Too… many… matches.

Los Angeles

The announcing team here was Jesse Ventura, Lord Alfred Hayes, and Elvira (Hey, I know her).

Not weird

Ricky Steamboat defeated Hercules Hernandez: Ricky has become my favorite wrestler of this era. I've never been so late to a party.

Adrian Adonis (with Jimmy Hart) defeated Uncle Elmer: Who now?

Now this is weird

Terry Funk and Hoss Funk (with Jimmy Hart) defeated Junkyard Dog and Tito Santana: This was a fine match. The JYD didn't get too much time to shine thought. And, unfortunately, no juke.

DAT'S CHEATING!!!

Hulk Hogan defeated King Kong Bundy (with Bobby Heenan) in a steel cage to retain the Heavyweight Championship: King Kong Bundy is the coolest looking thing. He's like from another planet.

Dat bird's-eye

Grade

This WrestleMania was too chaotic. And unlike the previous, had nearly no interviews. Celebrity commentators were horrible. Matches were short, and quality was low.

2 out of 5 stars